What causes individuals to lie? Even those in fulfilling partnerships are capable of adultery.
According to conventional wisdom, there must be a problem with either the cheater or the relationship for someone to cheat on a partner with whom they have a committed relationship. Insecurity, neglect, routinely violated trust, or the need for a defensive mechanism are the typical causes of cheating. In certain instances, it could originate from a more biologically based, deeper location.
Cheating is probably the most awful thing you can do to some one in a relationship. If someone cheats, it is the end of the relationship, period.
Adrienne Borschuk
Learning that your spouse or significant other has gone outside of your relationship is a particularly unpleasant experience, as everyone who has ever been cheated on knows. You might never learn the real reason for the betrayal in the thick of the emotional discussions and battles that ensue. You might not even notice the warning symptoms. According to professionals, there are eight reasons why individuals lie.
1. ANGER OR REVENGE
Sometimes, people cheat to express their rage or seek retribution.
Perhaps you recently learned your boyfriend had an affair. You’re injured and in shock. To ensure that your spouse truly understands the suffering they caused you, you could wish to make them experience the same feelings.
In other words, the motivation behind retaliatory infidelity is frequently “They harmed me, so now I’ll hurt them.”
But there are more motivations for adultery beyond retaliation, such as:
- when a spouse doesn’t appear to understand you or your needs, it can be frustrating
- anger at a partner who isn’t around much
- hence resentment when a spouse isn’t giving much of themselves, either physically or emotionally
- and finally anger or frustration after an argument
Anger may be a strong drive to get close to someone else, regardless of the root cause.
2. FALLING OUT OF LOVE
In general, the thrilling sensation of being in love with someone doesn’t continue forever. When you initially fall in love with someone, receiving a text from them could cause you to feel passionate, ecstatic, and dopamine-rush.
But these emotions typically lose some of their vigor with time. Yes, there is solid, enduring love. However, those butterflies from the first date will only go you so far.
You may come to the conclusion that the love simply isn’t there once the glitter wears off. Or perhaps you come to the realization that you love someone else.
Keep in mind that falling out of love doesn’t have to mean you don’t love each other.
This may make it more difficult to exit a relationship that still makes you feel family-like, friendly, stable, and safe. The desire to feel romantic love again and the motivation for adultery, however, may result from continuing to be in a relationship without it.
3. SITUATIONAL FACTORS AND OPPORTUNITY
Even the possibility of cheating increases the likelihood of infidelity. This does not imply that everyone who has the chance to cheat will. The desire to cheat is frequently increased by other conditions, albeit not always.
Think about the following situation: You’re upset about the recent gap in your relationship and struggling with emotions of poor self-esteem related to your appearance. One day, a nice coworker approaches you while you’re alone and declares, “I’m incredibly drawn to you. Invite me over someday.
If there were just one or two things going on, you may not decide to cheat. However, the interaction of these driving forces — the separation from your partner, your self-consciousness, and the coworker’s interest — may increase the likelihood of adultery.
Potential scenarios
Even in a solid, satisfying relationship, some situational conditions, such as the following, might increase the likelihood of infidelity:
- drinking excessively and sharing a bed with another person after a night out
- wanting physical comfort after a distressing event
- residing in or working in a setting with a lot of physical contact and emotional interaction
