What to Do If Someone Is Gaslighting You
And finally, what do you do if you do recognize that someone is gaslighting you?
1. Identify the problem.
Recognizing the problem is the first step. Once something has a name you can being to address it specifically and granularly.
2. Take notes.
Recording events immediately after they happen provides evidence you don’t need to second-guess. Jotting down highlights from a conversation or using a smartphone app to record your argument offers something to review when your memory is called into question.
3. Gain some distance.
It can be helpful to take a step back from the intense emotions that gaslighting can evoke. Physically leaving the situation can help, but you might also try using some relaxation techniques such ad deep breathing or grounding exercises.
4. Set boundaries.
Boundaries tell others what you are willing to accept in a relationship. Make it clear that you won’t allow the other person to engage in actions such as trivializing or denying what you have to say.
5. Get a second opinion.
Talk to a friend or family member about what you are going through. Having another person’s perspective can help make the situation clearer.
6. End the relationship.
While it can be difficult, ending the relationship with someone who repeatedly gaslights you is often the most effective way to end the abuse.
Gaslighting may start out gradually, but this subtle manipulation can cause deep and lasting harm.
A therapist can help you begin to identify gaslighting and offer support with addressing its impact productively, without losing yourself in the process.