How Gaslighting Works
You can doubt your memory, your senses, and yourself when someone is gaslighting you. You may feel confused and question if there is something wrong with you after speaking with the individual gaslighting you.
You may become confused and start to doubt your judgment and general mental health as a result of gaslighting. Understanding the strategies that a person who is gaslighting someone could employ may be helpful.
1. Lying to You
Gaslighters are compulsive liars who lie on a regular basis. Even when you call them out on it or present evidence of their dishonesty, they will continue to shamelessly lie and refuse to retract or alter their claims. Such statements include: “You’re inventing stuff. That never took place.”
2. Discrediting You
Gaslighters tell others untrue things about you. They could act concerned for you while quietly informing others that you look unstable or insane.
Sadly, this strategy may be very successful, and many people support the abuser or bully without fully understanding the situation.
Additionally, the gaslighter could deceive you and claim that you are thought of in this way by others. These folks might never criticize you, but the gaslighter will do all in their power to make you think that they do.
3. Distracting You
A gaslighter may shift the topic by posing a question rather than replying to your inquiry or calling them out for anything they did or said.
This not only diverts your attention but also makes you wonder why you should pursue the topic further if they don’t feel compelled to answer.
4. Minimizing Your Thoughts and Feelings
By trivializing your feelings, the gaslighter can control you. You’re overreacting, they could say, or they might say, “Why are you so sensitive?”
These all convey that you’re mistaken and downplay how you’re feeling or what you’re thinking.
5. Shifting Blame
Another frequent gaslighting technique is shifting the blame. Every conversation you have is distorted in some way to put the responsibility for whatever happened on you.
Even if you try to talk about how the abuser’s actions make you feel, they might manipulate the conversation such that you come away thinking that you are to blame for their poor conduct.
They contend that if you had acted otherwise, they would not have treated you the way they have.
