Funny and Witty Quotes About Food
love to eat? Then these amusing food quotations are ideal for you!
“What do you mean, he don’t eat no meat? That’s okay, that’s okay. I make lamb.” – Aunt Voula (Andrea Martin), My Big Fat Greek Wedding
“Nouvelle Cuisine, roughly translated, means: I can’t believe I paid ninety-six dollars and I’m still hungry.” – Mike Kalin
“My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.” – Orson Welles
“At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.” – George Carlin
Coach: “How’s a beer sound, Norm?”
Norm: “I don’t know, I usually finish before they get a word in.” – Coach (Nicholas Colasanto) and Norm (George Wendt), Cheers
“An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.” – Will Rogers
“Snack time heals all wounds.” – Bridger Winegar
“Never do anything out of hunger. Not even eating.” – Frank Semyon (Vince Vaughn), True Detective
“After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.” – Oscar Wilde
“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.” – Calvin Trillin
“Instead of the mahi mahi, may I just get the one mahi because I’m not that hungry?” – Shelley Darlingson (Anna Faris), The House Bunny
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” – Dave Barry
“We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.” – Alfred E. Newman
“Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of the pieces.” – Judith Viorst
“When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, ‘Four. I don’t think I can eat eight.” – Yogi Berra
“As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett
“Watermelon – it’s good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face.” – Enrico Caruso
“Food is an important part of a balanced diet.” – Fran Lebowitz
“Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup.” – Henry James
“Anything is good if it’s made of chocolate.” – Jo Brand
“Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments.” – Bethenny Frankel
“Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken.” – Jonathan Swift
“Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.” – Doug Larson
Some quotes are so relatable and funny, right? I just hope this didn’t make you hungry.
Just Hilarious Quotes Ever
“If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” – Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey), Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin
“I’m not good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Chandler (Matthew Perry), Friends
“Here’s all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” – George Carlin
“As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” – Sir Norman Wisdom
“Does it disturb anyone else that ‘The Los Angeles Angels’ baseball team translates directly to ‘The The Angels Angels’?” – Neil DeGrasse Tyson
“I never forget a face – but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.” – Groucho Marx
“To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!” – Wanda (Jamie Lee Curtis), A Fish Called Wanda
“Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.” – Ellen DeGeneres
“My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.” – Tina Fey, Bossypants
“There is one word that describes people that don’t like me: Irrelevant.” – Anonymous
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams
“I remember it like it was yesterday. Of course, I don’t really remember yesterday all that well.” – Dory (Ellen DeGeneres), Finding Dory
“I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.” – Bob Hope
“The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.” – Anonymous
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” – Noel Coward
