Funny and Witty Quotes About Traveling
Las Vegas is sort of how God would do it if he had money.” – Steve Wynn
“Two great talkers will not travel far together.” – Spanish Proverb
“Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.’” – Steven Wright
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.” – Steve Martin
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.” – Unknown
“I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.” – Bob Hope
“You want to know what it’s like to be on a plane for 22 hours? Sit in a chair, squeeze your head as hard as you can, don’t stop, then take a paper bag and put it over your mouth and nose and breath your own air over and over and over.” –Lewis Black
“Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” – Mark Twain
“Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by moments of stark terror.” – Al Bolick
“The man who goes alone can start today, but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.” – Henry David Thoreau
“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” – Andre Guide
“On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.” – Lewis Grizzard
“Spain travel tip: If bathroom genders are indicated by flamingos, the boy flamingo is the one with a hat. I learned this the hard way.” – Dave Barry
“You and I come by road or rail, but economists travel on infrastructure.” – Margaret Thatcher
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.” – Russell Baker
“Travel becomes a strategy for accumulating photographs.” – Susan Sontag
Don’t these funny quotes remind you of your own travel? Traveling is surely fun when there’s an added humor to it. So, the next time you go on a trip, remember these witty quotes to brighten up your mood.
Funny and Witty Quotes about Honesty
Sincerity is pretty important, right? Check out this collection of clever proverbs and sayings that convey the value of sincerity and offer some sage advise on the subject while maintaining a lighthearted and enjoyable tone.
“Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control.” – Don Marquis
“Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.” – George Carlin
“Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.” – Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen), Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear
“An honest man is always a child.” – Socrates
“There should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation of differences before resorting to combat.” –Jimmy Carter’s
“Dishonesty is the second-best policy.” – George Carlin
“A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.” – H. L. Mencken
“The biggest liar in the world is the golfer who claims that he plays the game merely for exercise.” – Tommy Bolt
“Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” – Richard Jeni
“I was really too honest a man to be a politician and live.” – Socrates
“Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.” – Mark Twain
