Negging Experiment #2: The Interns
When we entered the following pub, we noticed five very well-dressed guys who appeared to have just left a significant board meeting. We placed a round of beverage orders while observing them.
Did you recently finish your internship, I asked? One of them, Andrea asked.
Her target, Sam*, was more than glad to clarify that he really works at his father’s real estate firm (thankyouverymuch), and he then immediately bought us a round of shots as the rest of the group laughed.
I became aware that Andrea and I were having a difficulty while we made introductions. And that we had been mishandling the entire negging process.
The goal of negging is to score with someone who is out of your league and highly attractive but with whom you otherwise wouldn’t have had a chance. Even though Steve was attractive, I wasn’t particularly attracted to him, so being somewhat nasty to him wasn’t that difficult. But when I met Jim*, who was truly lovely and around 110 percent my type, I understood how difficult and scary it is to disrespect someone you’re attracted to.
Even so, I gave it my best effort and opened with the time-tested “little brother” gambit. Fortunately, I didn’t have to respond when he questioned me about what that was intended to signify as another round of bullets started to fly.
Before Andrea walked over and jolted me back into action, I momentarily went rogue and pretended to be a decent person for a few minutes while talking to Jim.
This is incredibly preppy, she said, touching the collar of his shirt. It doesn’t really excite me.
Jim informed her, “Uh, well, it’s not for everybody.
Jim then left to answer a call, and Andrea updated me on her negotiations with Sam. After she kept criticizing his real estate job at his father’s business (“You simply sell houses? In essence, your dad handles all the labor. Sam never stopped complimenting her or shooting her more times.
He was like the tiny yet mighty engine.
Sam wouldn’t allow us to take a break to come up with a fresh strategy. He repeatedly signaled Andrea to return before ultimately approaching our table.
He then pleaded for her phone number.
Literally. In other words, “Please, I must have your number, I must have it.”
When Jim’s girlfriend arrived, I experienced complete heartbreak.
The Conclusion
To be fair, this evening might have gone quite differently if Andrea and I had greeted each group with a grin and a hello rather than a no.
After every negative comment, Steve obviously made an effort to maintain his air of assurance. But because he was actually much younger than us, the neg I started with was too powerful, and despite his best attempts, he never fully recovered. Negging may have led to him asking for our numbers or at least asking us to remain a bit longer if I hadn’t touched that nerve immediately away.
On the other hand, Sam ended up following Andrea around like a dog for the rest of the night after the negatives she threw at him, which I’m willing to bet wouldn’t have occurred had she simply said “Hi” and had a regular discussion with him.
Does negging “work” on males,” then?
Yes, utilizing a neg as an opener will make the attractive guy at the bar want to show himself if your ultimate objective is to get him interested in you. But the more important thing to ask yourself is probably, “Perform I really want to be with a person who I had to do a whole confidence takedown on in order for him to be interested in me?”
I most definitely don’t.
