Telling your partner that you’re not satisfied can be a challenge. It’s never easy to have to sit your boyfriend down and tell him that he’s bad in bed. But sometimes, it’s needed.
Men are very proud creatures. Everything is a competition for them. It’s embedded in their DNA. Whether it’s a pie-eating contest or a race for the elevator, the only goal is to win over somebody else.
When it comes to having sex, men are basically competing with every guy you’ve ever been with. The less men you’ve slept with, the lesser the expectations to excel.
If they can’t do it, then we’ll have to deal with the fact that they are awful in bed. This leads us to the part where we have to tell them the truth about it. That’s where it gets tricky.
Ways to Tell Your Partner He’s Bad in Bed
Here are some tips on how to tell your boyfriend he’s bad in bed.
1. Don’t judge too quickly.
When a guy is bad in bed, don’t be too quick to rule him out as unskilled or bad in bed. Sometimes you can catch a guy on an off time whether it’s a one-night stand or just an off-sex moment don’t always use that one moment to term that trashy lovers.
2. A better option.
Rather than tell him that what’s happening isn’t working for you, tell him that there’s a better way to pleasure you. Always use the phrase, “You know what would be better?” Tell him what you really want him to do and don’t forget to say, “That would make me feel sooo good!”
And, please use your bedroom sexy voice.
3. Tell him how you like it.
Tell him what doesn’t feel good and what does so that he’ll know what to improve. Once he gets it right, tell him how good he is.
Your man must know about your needs in bed, and that includes your favorite position or oral sex. When he goes down on you, tell him about how amazing it would be if he pressed his finger in and out while his tongue swirls around your clit — that will turn you on even more.
4. Switch positions.
If something’s not working for you, suggest that you switch positions. Try new ones, if you’re tired of the same old stuff. Not only will this give you a possible orgasm, it will also help spice up your substantially lukewarm sex life.
5. Physically show what you want.
In a position where maybe you’re just not being hit in the right place, or maybe it’s that they aren’t paying enough attention to your other body parts, follow the common mantra — Actions speak louder than words.
Sometimes you might just need to physically guide his hands to give your boobs more love or to just touch you more.
6. Sit him down.
Nothing beats communication in a relationship. Don’t beat around the bush — just be straight with him because if you don’t raise your concerns openly, you lose out sexually.
We know when you tell your man he sucks in bed, it immediately hits him right where it hurts the most — his manhood. But he will get over it and do the right thing eventually.
7. Reassure him.
You must make your partner feel at ease. Reassure him that what you just told him doesn’t mean it’s the end of your relationship.
Tell him you just need a little more love and affection, and that it’s possible for him to provide that. Tell him that you’re not asking for too much; just a little improvement.
8. Tell it in other words.
Do not use the words, “You’re bad in bed”, “You’re awful at this” or anything that uses negative adjectives. Tell him that you’re having trouble getting an orgasm, and that you’d like them to help.
This is where he’ll realize that he has something to do with it and promptly burst into tears or indignation… Or, if he’s a really laid back guy, he’ll probably just agree and try some new moves.
9. Never fake it.
We all know there’re articles for faking an orgasm out there, but that’s specifically targeted for people who are in need of an escape route for sex. When you are in a relationship, you should NEVER EVER EVER FAKE IT.
The reason why you’re with a man who’s awful in bed is because you made him think he was better than he really was.
Forget his ego! Your sex life is just as important as your emotional connection. Tell him the truth with your body, if you can’t say it out loud.
10. Shake things up.
Sometimes, especially when you fall into a long-term relationship — sexual or romantic, the sex can grow to become more of a routine or a chore which ultimately leads to the sex becoming boring, predictable and sucky.
Try spicing things up in the bedroom such as new positions, some kinkier stuff, adding something (or someone) new to the bedroom can easily make that dreadful sex tons better. If it sounds sexy and fun just go for it.
11. Be at the same level.
Sometimes the issue might not be that your man is necessarily bad in bed but just that you guys aren’t vibing sexually on a similar level — this is more so prevalent in newer couples.
Chances are he might even think that you’re the one that sucks in bed. Luckily all that really needs to be done is communicate with your sex partner so that they can better understand where you’re coming from.
12. Sometimes you’ll just have to cut your losses.
This can be incredibly hard if the guy is 100% your type on paper, but his sex game is just trash. If you’ve known him for a shorter time, then ultimately, it’s a lot easier you just need to let him know that you don’t feel like the both of you are sexually compatible.
Though sexual chemistry and a happy sex life are important for a relationship, you shouldn’t sacrifice what could be a potentially very good relationship over bad sex, especially without having tried to remedy it with your partner.