How to start a conversation with a girl? It doesn’t take a relationship expert to figure out how. So, why does it seem so difficult?
A lot of guys struggle to find a way to start a conversation. It can feel like walking into unknown territory… and that can be very intimidating.
You’ve probably felt the anxiety of wanting to talk to a girl to but not knowing how to get things started. You know that you’re a kind, interesting guy… you just have to get her to see that too.
Whether you need to know how to get a girlfriend or just want to know how to talk to girls for casual fun… knowing how to start a conversation with a girl will help you get over those butterflies and make a great first impression.
If you’re wondering how to start a text conversation with a girl, here’s what you should know.
How to Start a Text Conversation with a Girl – the Right Steps
Before you text her ‘hi’ and completely ruin your chances of getting a first date, how about we figure out how to start a text conversation with a girl.
Maybe we’re putting too much pressure on this, but if you do it right, you’ll have her hooked within the first couple of messages.
You need something that guarantees a reply and let’s face it, you won’t get that with a simple ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ unless she’s waiting for you text already!
1. Who is she to you?
How do you know this girl? Is she a friend you lost contact with, did you just meet her at a bar/club or did you get her number from a friend? If she’s a friend, then use your friendship as a setting stone in texting her. There’s no need to get all formal around starting a text if this is the case.
If she’s a stranger, then you need a catchy starter to really grab her attention. For example, if you know her from way back, you can easily start the conversation by saying, “knock, knock…” or “I saw your pictures from South America, it looks amazing!”
2. What not to say
Okay, so if you’re really not sure how to start a text conversation with a girl, here’s what you shouldn’t say. Don’t say, “hi,” “what’s up?””how are you?” if this is the first time you’re texting her. Just don’t!
These are dead-end conversation starters you really won’t get much from.
This is why when you say hi to someone over text, you rarely get an enthusiastic reply back. Again, keeping her engaged is the key if you want to know how to start a text conversation with a girl.
3. Spark her curiosity
You want to spark her interest in you and get her talking. Depending on how you met her, say something about the club you two were at, something she posted on Facebook, or anything else that can get the conversation going.
You’ll find that the most interesting conversation starters are those with either humor or wit in them. If you’re not naturally a funny guy, don’t force it, it’s going to flop.
4. Keep the texts short
No one, man or woman, likes reading an essay on their phone. Keep it to a minimum. There’s no need to text her an entire paragraph to get her attention. If you want her to stay interested, be direct, to the point, and keep your texts short.
You should also take note to keep your texts in line with the same length as hers. This means if she texts just two lines, don’t respond with way more than that. If she’s only replying with one or two words, well, then maybe she’s not as interested as you thought.
5. Go easy on the smiley faces
You’re not ten years old. Of course, you can use them, but try to use them sparingly. Smileys also refer to emojis, by the way! Keep them to a minimum as you wouldn’t want to push her away with your overly enthusiastic texts.
There’s an exception to this rule – you can use smileys regularly if she’s the type to text with them. Again, match her energy.
6. If she doesn’t reply, don’t text her right away
If she’s not replying in the timely fashion that you want, texting her again and again, won’t get her to reply any faster. In fact, most girls would see that as a red flag!
While clingy can be cute, it can also be very annoying. Especially if she doesn’t know you yet, this act of desperation can lead her to avoid texting you entirely.
Keep your cool when texting her and don’t chase her no matter what. If she doesn’t reply, you can always try again tomorrow or a few days later.
7. Don’t tell her you like her
If you’re texting her your deepest feelings about her, just put that in your saved drafts and leave it in there. Forever. Especially if you just started texting her, you wouldn’t want to creep her out with your feelings.
If you want to know how to start a text conversation with a girl, don’t confess your feelings *at least, not over text and not right away*. There’s a time and place for everything!
8. Keep the questions open-ended
If they’re not open-ended, she may reply just with “yeah” or “lol.” Make sure that the questions you ask aren’t the kind that ends with a yes or no answer. Get creative, don’t ask questions like whether they have siblings, but ask questions like what their passions are or what they’re interested in.
Make sure the questions can be answered in a couple of sentences, that way, it’ll get her talking and the conversation flowing.
9. Is she asking you questions?
Make sure that she’s asking you questions. It’s a good sign that she’s interested in you. This isn’t something you force, but you’ll naturally get there.
If she’s the only one answering questions, well, then it’s sounding very one-sided right now, so it’s best to back off and see if she initiates anything.
10. Go easy on the sexual innuendo
This is probably the fastest way to get a girl not just to stop talking to you, but to block your contact from their phone. The last thing a girl wants is to feel objectified and disrespected by a guy trying to chat her up. If you want to know how to start a text conversation with a girl, dial down on the sexual innuendo.
You can flirt with her, but only after she’s comfortable texting you. Otherwise, be prepared to be blocked and ignored if you push through with your sexual innuendos.
11. At least pretend that you’re busy
If you’re always sitting on the couch playing video games, that doesn’t sound like a turn-on. Try your best to have something going on in your life.
Maybe you’re busy working out or spending time on a new hobby. This will interest her far more than just saying you’re playing video games all day.
12. She’s not your grandma
If you find yourself starting to ask her questions that you would ask someone over the age of 70, stop. Take a break and refresh. If it’s like this again, well, maybe you two don’t connect as you hoped.
Talk about the things that would interest you if the situation was reversed. We’re willing to bet if someone texted you about the weather, it would be a hard pass.
13. Know when it’s time to end the conversation
Conversations aren’t meant to last forever. It’s okay if the conversation dies out. Honestly, you met her once, so, don’t be so hard on yourself. Realize you can always try again the day after or maybe next week.
You don’t always have to talk 24/7, and that’s pretty normal. If you force the conversation to continue, it ends up being dull and somewhat painful to sit through.
14. Stay social media light
If you two are just starting to text each other and you also have each other on Facebook and/or Instagram, this doesn’t mean now you have the green light to like every post and photo for the past two years. Be cool.
It’s also not an excuse to stalk their social media, including everything in their past. You might end up scaring her if you know everything in her life before she has a chance to tell you!
15. Ask her out
If the conversation is dying or it’s come to that point in time where you feel it’s time to ask her out, do it. After all, this is the end goal for knowing how to start a text conversation with a girl. You keep her interested enough in texting to ask her out on a date. What do you have to lose?
So, you can say, “we should go for coffee” or “I know you want to see ___ movie, let’s go see it this weekend.” The best part? She’ll say yes to that date! The worst part? Rejection, but at least you tried.
16. Just do it
Honestly, the more youplay it cool while texting a girl, the more she’ll get tired of waiting for your text *if she’s expecting your text, that is*.
The best way to know how to start a text conversation with a girl is to just go ahead and text her! The more you overthink what to say, the more likely you’ll sabotage any chance of connecting with her.
17. Don’t make the conversation dry
While you shouldn’t overly use emojis or smileys, that doesn’t mean you should make the conversation too dry! The last thing a girl wants when texting someone is a dry conversation.
Make sure you keep her interested the best way you can. Make her laugh, send her memes, ask her interesting questions, and think of interesting topics!
18. Compliment her
You can never go wrong with compliments when texting with a girl. Especially if you met at a bar or that bookstore around the corner, a compliment will catch her attention. Just make sure you don’t go overboard with the compliments and make it sound sincere!
19. Share things about yourself
To avoid making it a one-sided conversation, be sure to not make things all about her. Otherwise, she’s going to feel like she’s in the hot seat and that you’re just interviewing her!
Conversations go both ways, so if you really like this girl or want to get to know her, make it a mutual conversation. You don’t have to get too personal, but share things about yourself too!
20. Ask her interests
Finding a common ground will be the best thing for your texting conversation. If you want to know how to start a text conversation with a girl, find something you’re both interested in.
Maybe you’re both interested in the same movies or shows, you can use that to keep the conversation going.
What to Text a Girl to Start a Conversation?
When you like a girl a lot, you want you to make her laugh, and want her to remember you even when you both are not texting. You want the conversation to be memorable and want to stand out from the others.
Don’t worry, we know just the right things to text a girl to start a conversation so that the next time you ask yourself, “How do I keep a girl interested while texting?” you know exactly what to do.
Hey, busy bee!
If you are wondering what to text a girl to start a conversation, the simplest thing would be to drop a message that just reminds her of you, with an emoji or two. Sometimes she needs to be reminded that you exist and are waiting for her reply.
Such a message will remind her that you are waiting for her reply and will make her focus on you more. She will also feel good that you’ve been thinking about her.
Shawn say this is his go-to opening text to a girl when he can’t think of anything better. And he claims it always elicits a response. So, you can use this confidently, knowing that it’s a tried-and-tested trick.
How was your day?
In the evening, when things get dull, you can brighten up her mood by asking her how her day was. It is a good conversation starter and she will feel that you care for her. You can also tell her about your day and the different things you do to relax on a hectic day.
This is a bankable message to start texting a girl when you’re looking to have an extended conversation with her. As you trade details of your respective days, you can throw in some interesting questions in the mix to keep her engaged and interested.
Hey, stop thinking about me.
If you are looking for a flirty text to start a conversation with a girl, go for this one. This is a good way to start a conversation by bringing a bit of humor into it. It will make her smile and she will see you as a guy who knows how to make people laugh.
She will also start talking to you more often. Such a line is something that she will surely reply to and you can continue the conversation from there. Adira, a college student, confesses that this line actually worked like a charm on her.
This guy she was interested in had sent her this text when they were still testing the waters. “The message caught me off guard for I was actually thinking about him when he texted me this. Things just took off from there. We’ve been dating 6 months now.”
Clearly, this is one of the text a girl to start a conversation examples that works like a charm. Even more so, if you time it right.
This video cracked me up. I think you should watch it.
Videotext a girl to start a conversation but do ensure it is pure fun, not offensive in any way. When the conversation dies or is about to die, you can share a meme or a funny video to refresh things.
This will prevent the conversation from getting dull and you’ll be able to talk about something again. It can be a great way start a conversation with a girl on WhatsApp or any other messaging app. However, steer clear of sexist jokes, explicit content or images.
It can not only douse any chances you have to taking things forward with her but can also land you in a lot of trouble.
Ignoring me already?
Many times we meet someone, start talking to them but then start to lose contact with them because we get so busy with our hectic schedules. This might happen to you and this is one of the things to text when the conversation dies.
She will apologize for ignoring you and you both can pick up things from where you left off. This can be a great follow-up after the first conversation with a girl on chat, especially if there has been radio silence ever since.
What’s your idea of a Friday night?
Fridays are the beginnings of the weekend and what you do on a Friday night tells a lot about your personality. If she is a party person then it means that she is an extrovert and a social animal and if she prefers staying at home and binge-watch, it means that she prefers her own space. Moreover, it’s a great conversation starter!
You both can share about the things you love to do on Friday nights and talk about how you look forward to the weekend. This is also among the interesting questions to ask a girl in the getting-to-know-each-other phase. Besides, it will give you some bankable first date ideas should you decide to take things forward.
What kind of music do you like? Any recommendations?
Not only will knowing each other’s music preferences bring you both closer, but it will also get you both to know about each other’s personality. You can ask her to share her top 5 songs with you and ask her to do the same and talk about how you liked the songs.
If you’re both into music, this is the best message to start a conversation with a girl as it’ll give you a lot to talk about and connect over. You can recommend songs to each other and even share playlists over Spotify or Amazon Music. A perfect way to become more involved in each other’s lives.
Are you mom’s favorite or dad’s?
Thinking about what to text a girl to start a conversation that includes her family? This is a sensitive topic and will get her to talk more about her personal life. You can begin by asking about who she thinks pampers her the most and go towards talking about her favorite childhood memories. She will be pleased to see that you’re so interested in her life.
If you had one superpower, what would it be?
Everyone dreams of what it would be like if they were a superhero and she will have something in mind too. It will also get you both to use your imaginative skills and talk about the things you both would do if you had the superpower. She will also like it that you’re not the typical guy who is just restricted to hobbies.
If you ever find yourself at a loss during your first conversation with a girl on chat, this a question you can use blindly. First of all, it never feels out of place. And second, it always elicits some interesting responses from both sides. That’s all you need to liven up the conversation.
If you were asked to describe yourself in three words, what would it be?
At first, she might feel like you are taking an interview of some sorts but the trick here is to give funny answers when she asks you the same question. If you’re looking for what to text a girl to make her smile, this is one of them. Your funny replies will make her laugh.
Besides, her choice of words to describe herself will tell you a lot about who she is as a person.
What is your favorite combination when it comes to food?
In this question ask her for the combinations that are not typical. Everyone has some favorite combination when it comes to food.
Some weird combinations that people have are rice and jam, peanuts and instant noodles. She could have one too. Talking about weird combinations will make you know more about her personality.
What did you want to become when you were a kid?
You both can delve deep into nostalgia with this question. There would be so many memories and backstories attached to this question. This is a great conversation starter and can go a long way. She will become more open to you and will start sharing more.
Which series are you binge-watching?
There’s so much to talk about when it comes to talking about TV shows and web series. If you haven’t seen the one she is currently watching, then you can ask her more about it and also share the kind of series you like to watch.
If you’ve already watched it, then you can tease her by saying that you will give her spoilers. Besides, if you both are fans of the same franchise, this can give you so much to discuss. All in all, this one is a winner among the best lines to start a conversation with a girl over text.
What is the craziest thing you’ve done?
It’s time to once again delve deep into nostalgia and talk about the crazy things that you both have done. She will share some crazy experiences of hers and you both will get to know each other more.
This is one of the best message to start conversation with a girl because it’ll instantly help you see her adventurous side without coming off as too intrusive.
Would you eat in a restaurant that is dirty but serves amazing food or vice versa?
If you are a foodie and think about fulfilling your foodie dream with a girl, then this question would be important to you. Knowing how important food is to her will help to ascertain whether she is the one. If she has the same thoughts about food as you do, then you’ll have so much more to talk about and this conversation would have no end.
Which was the funniest meme you saw last?
There’s always one meme that cracks us up a lot. When you feel that you’ve run out of conversation topics and don’t have anything else then talking about memes can work. You both can start a meme war too by responding to each other’s texts in memes.
This can effortlessly steer the conversation into a fun, light-hearted zone, allowing you both to shed your inhibitions and talk more freely.
Hey! How was the movie last night?
If it’s been some hours since you both have spoken to each other, you can start a conversation by asking her about something that she has done recently, like a recent movie she has watched. Asking her about what the movie was about and how she liked it is a good conversation starter.
This opening text to a girl will show her that you pay attention to the things she tells you and remember the little details about her.
Just finished watching a series. Any recommendations?
We all love TV shows and web series and feel a sense of emptiness when something we’re hooked on to ends. The most difficult task is to find something good to watch because you don’t know where to choose from. You can ask her for recommendations which will get her all excited and you can take it to other topics from there.
Which is your favourite foreign country?
We all have our favorite foreign country, somewhere we dream of going one day. You can ask her what her hers is and talk about the different things she would do there and what is it she likes the most there. A simple question can make a great conversation.
If you have been hitting it off so far, so you can also use this as an excuse to suggest making travel plans together.
“Thinking of ordering food. Any suggestions?”
Food is just an excuse for starting a conversation. She will get excited and tell you about her favorite restaurants and you can continue and ask her about what she’s doing, how was her day, etc. This can be a particularly great way to start a conversation with a girl on WhatsApp or other private messaging apps if you’re new in town.
“How’s work treating you?”
Work-life sucks for some and some people actually love their job. You can go about asking her how her job is and how she feels about it. If she hates her job then bickering about your jobs can be a good way to start a conversation.
If she sees this as an opportunity to vent, be receptive and listen patiently. Hearing her out will make her see you as someone she can turn to when she needs someone to talk to.
Tell me something you haven’t told anyone yet.
This could be a secret that could be weird, kinky, funny or maybe embarrassing. Whatever it is, it is a good conversation starter as it gets her thinking and sharing stuff that she hasn’t shared with anyone else before. If she shares it with you then it means that she’s including you in her inner circle.
So, How to Start a Conversation with a Girl?
When you know how to pique a girl’s interest, then it’s easy as pie! Just be yourself and think of a witty conversation starter along with these tips above, and you’ll keep her on her toes. And make her want more!
Now that you know how to start a text conversation with a girl, you have no excuse but to practice. If you keep this up, you never know, you can even get her to say yes to a first date real soon!