Polite Ways to Decline Being the Best Man Role
If you’ve made up your mind that you still don’t want to be a groomsman, it might be time to start coming up with reasons. Never undervalue the ability to use your family or your job as a great method to get out of something.
1. You have a family to care for.
Let’s assume you have welcomed a new member into the family, or perhaps you have ailing family members who will require your assistance particularly that month. A real bummer, no?
2. You’re under time pressure.
Perhaps you are worried about your own event or a deadline at work that coincides with the wedding. Clearly state why you were unable to devote the groom the time and attention he needs for his wedding.
3. You’ll be away from home.
You should not be the best man if you will be traveling for business or an anniversary while away from home. Insist that your tickets are non-refundable because these plans have been in the works for a time. Make sure to send a thoughtful gift and avoid eye contact while on your fictitious trip.
4. You cannot afford it.
A wedding is not inexpensive to be in. As his “best man,” you’ve been given the “honor” of spending money on the groom’s bachelor party, new suit, tie, gift, and other wedding-related expenses. Just be humble and tell your groom that you just cannot afford to be a part of his wedding party. Inform him that, despite your appreciation for the offer, you were unable to adequately fund his special day.
5. Your anxieties won’t let you.
Explain to the groom that you are uncomfortable speaking in front of groups of people and apologize for your nerves being so frazzled by the whole public spectacle.