If you are already feeling lonely, Valentine’s Day can seem like someone putting a megaphone next to your ear and saying, “attention, attention, you are alone. That is not a person next to you. That is your jacket.”
Ah, romance. Just what everyone needs…right? Wrong. The Valentine’s Day marketing machine and the quest for social acceptance can make “Singles Awareness Day” dreary or even cruel if you’re alone, whether by choice or by circumstance. It’s hard to see what else life has to offer when you’re bombarded with romantic comedies on TV, flowers, romance novels and cutesy heart-shaped trinkets in the stores, and never-ending drippy advertisements and event announcements.
Fear not. You can be happy as a single on Valentine’s Day. Resist the pressure to couple up if it doesn’t happen to be the time for you, and celebrate the moment.
How To Be Happy Being Single On Valentine’s Day
1. Get some perspective
If you feel sad because Valentine’s Day causes feelings of loneliness and reminds you that you’re “just” a single, it might help to realize that there are plenty of other single people experiencing Valentine’s Day too.
- While some of them might be feeling as miserable as you, some of them are probably having a wonderful time snickering at the pointlessness of Valentine’s Day or not even bothering to give it any notice. And then there are many couples who resist Valentine’s Day as much as possible, despairing of the pressure to conform to purchasing gifts and celebrating the occasion like clockwork and who find the commercialization of Valentine’s Day crass even though they’re in love.
- With this perspective in mind, it can be a little easier to stop sniffling into your handkerchief.
- Remind yourself that the benefits of Valentine’s Day are realized in the cashier’s till of the florist, candy retailers, gift stores and restaurants catering for romantic dinners for two.
2. Love your singleness
Think about all the marvelous benefits of being single, from not fighting over the TV remote control to being able to keep your living space as clean or as messy as you’d like. The “couples” messaging is strong but it isn’t a reflection of the full reality of how people choose to live their lives; don’t fall for the hype that everyone’s paired off and happy as a result. There are many very happy single people but it’s just not currently fashionable to cover the happiness of being single in media or political discourse.
- Write a list of all the good points about being single. For example, free time, no compromises on the home front, less responsibilities, etc. And think about how some of those good points would evaporate within a relationship. Focus on the benefits rather than seeing drawbacks.
- If people choose to rub your “singleness” in your face on Valentine’s Day, be strong and reply with compassion: “I like being single. I get to choose how I want to live without having to make compromises, meals, or even the bed.” And you might wish to mention that statistics reveal that half the community is single, with 51 percent of women, for example, living without a spouse.