There are various instances in life when a person experiences pain. This pain can be emotional, physical pain, or mental pain. Regardless of the nature of pain, it does have an impact on the person. Pain changes people.
At that time, it is normal for a person to feel that life is pain. Experience teaches you eventually that with no pain, there is no gain. But as time passes, you learn to deal with your pain.
Pain breaks a person. But being broken is a privilege because a person whose hopes and dreams have been shattered or who has gone through immense pain in his life is more careful. Anxiety makes a person more durable and can also make someone weaker. It creates boundaries and also sets people free.
Pain is powerful. Pain is an emotion everyone experiences in some form or the other in their lifetime.
Although we try, we cannot avoid pain altogether. Sometimes, grief comes in the most unexpected forms in our lives, and sometimes, it comes giving a prior signal. The fact is that pain changes people, sometimes in the right way and sometimes in the wrong direction.
Pain is all in mind. Even physical pain has to felt in spirit. If the nerves of a damaged body area have been numbed, we will not feel the pain. The nerves send the signal to our brains to feel the pain. Our mind makes us feel pain.
But the best side effect of pain is that it makes people grow. They either grow and get stronger and learn to avoid future instances of pain, or they become more reliable and smarter and learn to deal with future cases of illness.
Painful Events or Occurrences in Life
Pain occurs in our lives in many forms. These forms can be physical or emotional. Let us see what the different kinds of pain a human may experience, and its impact on their lives are.
Hurt, pregnancy, disease, assault, or accident may result in physical pain. This kind of pain is felt by the person in the respective area of the body. Although the mind makes you feel physical pain too, you can relate this kind of a shock to that hurt or aching body area.
The human body is very fragile. Any kind of forceful impact on the body or improper functioning of the organs may result in physical pain. This kind of pain often heals with time. It might leave scars in some cases, but the pain goes away. The memory might remain, but the feeling of sadness goes away.
This concept can also be taken lightly. As the pain saying goes, ‘No pain, no gain,’ it teaches us an essential fact in our day to day lives too. If you do not go through physical pain, you cannot get a fit body. Fitness for you can be achieved only after you dedicatedly go through some pain and effort.
The death of a loved one, relationship failures, failure in academics or career, financial conditions, fights, or unfair judgments is some instances when a person goes through emotional pain. The heart is deeply hurt, and the mind is frustrated and angry.
This pain is equally burning, although it is not visible. This kind of pain is often more powerful in changing people than physical pain. A person who goes through emotional pain is privileged because they become more reliable and smarter to deal with similar instances in the future.
If you wonder why memories are essential, then you should know that memories of past pain make you more robust and more careful in the future.
Can Pain Be Avoided?
Whether the pain can be avoided or not is entirely subjective. A child who burnt his hand playing with fire goes through immense pain. This pain teaches him to be careful with shooting the next time. He has learned his lesson and therefore avoids going through the same pain again.
Similarly, a lover hurt in love because of his partner’s lack of loyalty is very careful before getting into a love relationship again. The earlier pain has taught him to think twice before committing himself to love again. The initial shock has shown him to be careful, and therefore he now avoids the same kind of pain.
But you cannot predict life and hence cannot predict pain. It can come in different ways without letting you know. The child who burnt his hand might avoid the pain from the fire the next time, but may fail at preventing the pain caused by a bad fall. Similarly, a lover hurt in love before might be careful in choosing a life partner the next time, but he cannot avoid the pain given to him by his friends or family.
Furthermore, there are certain kinds of pain that one has to experience in their life without avoiding. You cannot prevent the death of your loved ones, and you will have to go through immense pain when they pass away. Similarly, most women go through the pain of pregnancy and delivering a baby. They are aware of the pain, yet they want to experience it. Some kinds of pain have to be dealt with and experienced.
How Pain Changes People?
1. Become trustless and more guarded.
Pain is an excellent teacher. In some cases, it teaches people to be more guarded and careful. A happy spirited girl who had a habit of making friends with everyone in school was often laughed at and made fun of by her peers. This caused her so much pain that she has now totally become an introvert. With no discomfort, she would have never learned to be more guarded and careful in life.
A little girl who was raped when she was out playing in the fields, got so scared that she stopped going out altogether. She became so guarded that she refused ever to let her guard down.
Pain makes people think that a similar danger is always lurking around them. They are always guarded.
2. Overthink more.
Pain makes some people overthink more. They think of all the possibilities of a situation. They overthink so much only to avoid further pain and hurt. Such people think of a case from all possible angles because they are more protective, careful, and guarded.
An investor who has incurred severe losses by investing in a project that failed now overthinks before reinvesting. Pain, in this case, has made the person smarter and more experienced. He does not take to make investments easily now. He thinks and thinks and researches thoroughly before he reinvests.
3. Get more cautious and careful.
Pain makes people more careful of their steps. It kills their free-spirits and makes them always cautious of the possible potholes ahead. Such people avoid taking chances or risks in life too.
A person who has had a car accident before is now cautious in driving. Pain has changed this person for the better. He has become more responsible and careful.
But in a similar incident, an investor who has lost a good deal of money in a past project now is scared to invest in anything lucrative again. Pain makes them avoid taking risks or chances in life.
4. Become more pessimistic.
Pain also makes some people very negative and pessimistic. They are always hoarding negative opinions or thoughts about others. Nobody wants to be around such cynical people. Pain has changed them for the worse.
A person who has always failed in academics becomes a school dropout. Such people are very pessimistic with their kids too. Instead of appreciating their efforts, they only give negative comments. Such people ruin not only their happiness but also the joy of their children. Pain makes people cynical.
5. Tend to shut people off.
Pain makes some people so scared of society that they completely shut themselves off. They forget to laugh, mingle, or share their feelings with the world at large. They feel that everyone is going to leave them. Such people tend to shut off from the world and keep struggling with their pain.
A person who has always been made fun of for being fat completely shuts himself from his friends, teachers, parents, and society. He likes being alone and has no friends. Deep inside, he is always struggling with the feeling of worthlessness.
How To Deal With Pain?
Always keep in mind that with no pain, a person does not gain much. Pain changes people completely. Some people who went through the pain of their children’s death due to a life-threatening disease channelize their pain in the right direction. They open up medical care facilities to help others suffering from similar conditions. By doing so, they are using their pain and experience for the betterment of others so that no one else has to go through the same pain again. This is a beautiful example of pain dealt with in the right way.
Another great way to deal with pain is to write down three of the most painful things that have happened to you in your lifetime. Write down those instances and describe how you have dealt with them. Also, introspect how these events have changed you. Have you changed for the better or worse? Did you use your painful experience for the betterment of others? Did you ensure in any way that others do not go through the same pain?
This is a great way to deal with pain. Every pain is a lesson in life. It teaches you a lot of things about what you should do and what you should not do. It also makes you stronger. By listening to the experiences of other people, you also have an inkling of what the pain could be like, but each one’s personal experience of pain is unique.
Life is never a bed of roses. Pain and pleasure are part and parcel of life. Some people are lucky enough not to experience extreme pain in their lives, while some get their dose of pain quite early in their lives.
How everyone deals with anxiety is different. Some people manage to channelize it in the right direction and help others deal with a similar kind of a pain in a better way.