18. You Need To Calm Down!
This one usually happens during an emotional outburst or temper tantrum, and it’s about as helpful as throwing gas on a fire. If your child could calm down, they wouldn’t be throwing a fit in the first place.
At this point it’s too late for that. Telling them to “calm down” will only invalidate the very real emotions they’re feeling.
If anyone needs to remain calm, it’s probably you. Be patient until the storm passes, then talk through the emotions that led to the outburst in the first place.
19. Stop Your Crying Right Now!
Here’s yet another thing you should never say to your child. Think about it. Would you say this to a friend who just lost her job or was going through a break-up? Probably not. Then why would you say it to your child when they’re having a rough time?
Have you ever been told to stop crying? Did it ever work?
Children feel strong emotions just as much as adults do, if not more. They need to know it’s okay to feel scared, sad, angry, or overwhelmed once in awhile. Crying is a release valve to help let out their frustrations. Bottle it up now, and your child could have trouble expressing and processing emotions throughout their life.
Tears shouldn’t be taboo.
20. What Did You Do To Yourself?
While you might not be a fan of your kid’s new hair color or nose ring, when you start a conversation with an accusatory question like this, you’re shutting down communication right off the bat.
Your child will constantly feel judged and not good enough. Children can believe that if they are not good enough for their parent, they will not be good enough for anyone.
21. Why Can’t You Do Anything Right?
While it may sound like a question, this is more of an accusatory statement — and one that won’t likely yield a positive response. Parents who say this to young kids are surprisingly surprised when they can’t get their adolescents to do anything.