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25 Damaging Things You Should Never Say To Your Kids

25 Damaging Things You Should Never Say To Your Kids

14. You Don’t Feel That Way

Even if your kid is saying something that you believe to be less than completely true like, “I hate you,” it’s still important that you don’t try to dismiss their feelings.

“‘You don’t feel that way” is one of the worst things parents can say to their children. Parents should validate children’s feelings even if they don’t agree with them or wish they didn’t feel that way.

15. Why Can’t You Be More Like…

As a parent, it is virtually impossible not to notice other people’s children and their capabilities in comparison to their own kids. And these observations play an important role — they help parents gauge where their own children fit in terms of expectations and reaching milestones. However, it’s best not to vocalize any of these observations where their children may overhear them.

Most often when a parent does make a comment such as: “Look how Jimmy uses the potty” or “See how Jenny zips up her own coat”, it is intended to shine a positive light on an influence they are hoping will rub off on their child. But typically, using comparisons in order to encourage certain behaviors tend to backfire.

A child may end up translating these comparisons into mistaken beliefs that their parents wish they had different children. Also, if a child just isn’t ready to use the potty or figure out a zipper, this pressure can be confusing and end up damaging their self-esteem. Better to focus on what children can achieve rather than what they are struggling with.

16. That’s How I Was Raised

Although we learn a lot about parenting based on how we were raised, it’s very closed-minded to reject a child’s request or condemn their actions by saying “that’s how I was raised”. Instead, explain to your child why you feel a certain way rather than being quick to shut them down with that line. You can use it as an example, but it should not be your main argument.

17. I Wish You’d Never Been Born

No matter how frustrated you are with your child, it’s never acceptable to go as far as telling them that you wish they hadn’t been born. When you’re feeling frustrated enough to say something this hurtful, simply remove yourself from the situation until you’ve cooled down enough to respond in a more level-headed manner.

“You were an accident.”

Even if your kids weren’t planned, telling them that can cause long-lasting emotional scars. And adding “we love you anyway,” doesn’t help. People want to be loved straight up, without a disclaimer.

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