Sometimes women do things, often without realizing it, that can impair a relationship. No matter what stage of life, or what stage in the relationship, most of the issues women are having are rooted in the same mistakes.
Is any relationship perfect? Nope! That’s number ONE of the twenty frequent mistakes women make in relationships.
To help you break away from the pack and get on the path toward a healthier, happier relationship, we’ve identified the 20 most common relationship mistakes most women make. If you can get a handle on the things on this list, you’ll notice your relationship drastically change for the better.
MOST COMMON MISTAKES WOMEN MAKE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Identifying your relationship patterns will greatly help you stop making the same mistakes again and again. Take from this what you will.
Here you go:
MISTAKE #1: EXPECTING A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP
We are surrounded by reality TV and tabloids detailing cheating partners and rocky relationships. Yet many women still believe they’ll find a prince charming who will sweep them off their feet, fulfill their desires, never disagree and live happily ever after with them. Despite reality media, we’ve been raised on a steady diet of saccharine commercials, Hallmark cards, and childhood fairy tales.
Writer and lecturer Dale Carnegie once said, “When dealing with people we are not dealing with creatures of logic but creatures of emotion.” Logic tells us nothing is perfect, but we yearn to be the exception. And sometimes we waste months, years, decades jumping in and out of relationships that don’t feel like the fairy tale.
MISTAKE #2: TRYING TO CHANGE HIM
You should never forget that when you entered a relationship with a person you did so because you liked him for who he is. It is a turn-off for a man when he finds the woman he is trying to impress is always criticizing him for who he is.
When it comes to minor things, like the fact that he wears running shoes with dress pants, be gentle and encouraging. Don’t criticize and make him feel stupid. Say something that makes him feel good and inspires him to make that change on his own, for instance, “You look really sexy in that outfit but it would be even sexier with those loafers instead.”
MISTAKE #3: CHEATING
There are no restrictions on ones thoughts and there shouldn’t be. To think freely is a basic right that we enjoy. However to act upon your thoughts is a very different story. Relationships go through difficult phases and it’s during those phases that we tend to be susceptible, a little insecure and sometimes unhappy. If that is the case, talk to your partner.
In case you want something different that your current relationship cannot give you, then have courage and break it off. If not, then do not break the trust you and partner share, for a moment’s weakness or on an impulse. It’s absolutely imperative that you treat your partner they way you want your partner to treat you. So be loyal.
MISTAKE #4: ACTING TOO INDEPENDENT
For the super independent women, this one is tough. Men love to take care of their women. While it sounds sweet and like the ideal situation, for an independent woman, it’s difficult to let someone do things for you because it may feel like you’re compromising your values.
Let him help you out with your problems every now and then, drop you off to work or walk on the outside of the sidewalk, so he feels like he’s protecting you. It will make him feel needed and important. That doesn’t mean to be a damsel in distress, but don’t act so independent that he starts to feel useless because he will become disinterested.
MISTAKE #5: GETTING INSANELY JEALOUS
A little jealousy is okay, but if you flip out every time there is a woman in his vicinity, then you’re making a mistake. It is natural for men to check out other women, as long as it’s just a cursory look, there is no need to get angry about it.
Men love women who are confident and secure, so don’t be a jealous, insecure, possessive girlfriend. This will make him think you don’t trust him, cause fights and bitterness. If you give him a happy, well-balanced relationship, you’ll never be insecure about it. Don’t let jealousy kill your relationship.
MISTAKE #6: COMPARING YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO OTHER’
It’s one thing to have people in your life who inspire you in certain ways. But if that has gotten to the point and place where you are constantly comparing your relationship, you are headed for, at the very least, some disappointment and disillusionment.
Every relationship is unique. Every relationship also has its good and not-so-good parts to it. Basing what you have on what someone else has got is not only unfair but a surefire way to do your own relationship more harm than good.
MISTAKE #7: NOT SPEAKING TO YOUR PARTNER
You should always speak with your “friend” first before seeking outside opinions. At the end of the day, you and the person you’re dating are the decision makers. Nothing is obvious in a relationship. It’s important to speak up when you feel uncomfortable, speak up when you want something specific, call him out when he’s being inconsistent or leaves you on read. Tell him exactly how you feel so its clear and you build a relationship that values effective communication.
Most people want to avoid conflict and are afraid of being vulnerable because of the fear of rejection. This feeling is justified. But what’s so fearful about rejection? Like if someone tells you they aren’t interested in being with you, will you die? Or will it hurt temporarily and then you’ll get over it. You don’t have to live with what if’s. Take your shot, you’ll be glad you did when you’re 90 years old.
MISTAKE #8: TRYING TO TIE HIM DOWN
As a way of ensuring security within the relationship, often some women tend to demand long term commitments. There is of course nothing wrong with wanting a secure lasting relationship, however you must bear in mind that by tying him down, you too will be tied down to a man, you may not even love five years from now.
We all change and evolve as individuals and though the notion of growing old with someone or of marrying your high school sweetheart may seen enticing, it isn’t for everyone. So give yourself time and also him. To strengthen your relationship and eliminate the sense of insecurity, talk to your partner and together figure out a way to make you feel more secure.
MISTAKE #9: LETTING YOURSELF GO
It really is a shame to see how many women think it’s okay to stop working out and shaving their legs as soon as they’re in a relationship. If anything, you should feel more motivated to make the effort once things are more settled to keep the attraction alive and sexual energy buzzing.
Women defend this point by saying he should love me at my worst, for my natural look, etc. but hey, nobody’s asking you to look like Barbie 24/7. All that is being asked is to look at least clean, smell nice, be healthy…
MISTAKE #10: CONSTANT NAGGING
No guy is perfect, no man is capable of giving you every single thing you need. There will be times when you’re not happy with something he’s doing. If this happen, do not nag him over it. The best strategy is to tell him what it is you want (I love it when you do X) instead of harping on what you don’t want (Why don’t you ever do Y?)
MISTAKE #11: ASSUMING AND GUESSING
You know the saying, to assume makes an ass out of “U” and “Me.” Most men do not communicate as often and as fully as women do, so women like to read between the lines. And because of how the brain works, we tend to assume the negative.
Sometimes he’s not talking because he’s really upset about that baseball score. Sometimes he hasn’t complimented you on that new hairstyle because he really didn’t notice it. (It’s a neurological fact that women have more perception receptors than men do.) Instead of spending hours texting and talking with your BFF trying to “figure out” what it means, ASK. Save yourself time and angst.
MISTAKE #12: NOT APPRECIATING WHAT HE DOES FOR YOU
As you may know, people like to be appreciated. If a man puts forth his effort and time to please you then you should acknowledge his love and effort and appreciate it. When you are on the receiving end you do not really realize how much thought and effort a person might have put in order to make you happy.
Women often make this mistake. They have this sense of entitlement when it comes to gifts and surprises a man gives them. Don’t be self-centered. Your partner does not owe you anything. Be grateful for the thought, effort and time he has put in for you.
MISTAKE #13: THINKING THAT BEAUTY AND SEX WILL KEEP HIM
For goodness sake. Do you know how many beautiful women get cheated on and/or dumped on a daily basis?
Going through all of the time, effort and finances to make yourself look a certain way or banking on your sex skills, believing that it will keep a man’s attention is futile. A true friendship and emotional connection are a far more reliable “relationship glue” than anything else. There are countless examples to prove this very point. Just go to your favorite entertainment site or gossip blog and you’ll see what is meant here.
MISTAKE #14: BEING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE
Nothing drives men crazier than a woman being passive-aggressive when you look upset but say ‘nothing’ when he asks what’s wrong. Don’t just say nothing and then continue being sad and weird, expecting him to force you into telling him; this will only annoy him because men are more straightforward by nature, and it just pisses them off when women act all dramatic about things.
If it’s something he did, then don’t go for the silent treatment, tell him what’s bothering you, discuss it, and if it’s something outside the relationship, then let him help you by being your support.
MISTAKE #15: INVOLVING A THIRD PERSON
Be it your best friend or your mom, keep your relationship problems as personal as possible. Even if you feel the need to vent out about something, which women often need to, don’t involve that person so much in your relationship that instead of making things better, you end up messing it up more by following wrong relationship advice.
https://giphy.com/embed/n6HN1WOdA6LCw You know your man more than anybody else, you should know how to deal with your problems, be mature about it and don’t let someone else let it ruin it. This could also cause discord between your partner and your friends/family.
MISTAKE #16: COMPLETE DEPENDENCE ON HIM
To lean on someone for support isn’t bad, however to depend on someone to the extent that they become a crutch is a very unhealthy idea that then makes your self-worth, your emotional stability and your happiness dependent on something you have no control over. Do rely on your partner for support, not for neediness.
MISTAKE #17: BROKEN TRUST
Trust once broken is hard to fix just like a mirror. No one is immune to heartache and pain, regardless of how big and strong they are. Do not break the trust you spent building your whole relationship. Do not lie to him or deceive him. Just like you don’t like him hiding things from you, he doesn’t like it either. You want him and his heart to be invested in you then you got to do the same and keep the trust intact. Respect him and have his back all the times and he’ll surely see a future with you.
MISTAKE #18: CREATING DRAMA
Men like it when things are laid back and easy going. They do not like to be worked up constantly. When we women tend to create drama in the smallest bit of things they get frustrated and they do not understand why we make a mess of smallest things. It puts them on edge. If you like to stir up trouble or get overly emotional just to get his attention then you have got it all wrong.
MISTAKE #19: BEING INFINITELY NEGATIVE
We all have bad days, it’s understandable. However, it’s in your best interest to try and be happy and positive. No one wants to hang around with a Negative Nancy. In general, we’re drawn to people who are happy and radiate a positive energy.
Wake up with a smile, express gratitude, see the good in your life and in your relationship. This will not only help you in your relationships, but it will make your life better overall.
MISTAKE #20: NOT GIVING HIM HIS SPACE
Some women tend to forget that they’re individuals first, and a couple later, they confine themselves to the boundaries of the relationship and expect their man to do the same. They become clingy and needy, not leaving their man personal space.
Let him hang out with his friends, or spend time on his hobbies, don’t invade his me time. Trying to glue yourself to him will choke him, and he’ll start missing his single life.
If he’s in a bad mood or doesn’t feel like talking, leave him alone and let it be. Most guys don’t like to talk about their issues the way women do. Instead, they prefer to pull back and work things out internally.