Pretending someone you once loved doesn’t exist anymore is painfully difficult. But if you want to forget someone for good, this is what you need to do.
We all have one person… or two… that we want to erase from our memory. If you’re staying up all night thinking about that one person you wish you’d never met, don’t worry, you’ll soon be able to sleep soundly.
It may seem like you’re the only one who’s spending days, months, even years thinking about someone who broke your heart – but you’re definitely not alone. I could write a book on it. It took me a year to get over my best friend who I was in love with. Needless to say, the asshole didn’t love me back. He’s not an asshole, I mean, I can’t force him to love me. I’m just joking – he’s an asshole.
In the beginning, I did it all wrong – sitting at home watching 90’s chick flicks with a tub of ice cream. Not only did I become depressed, it made me chunky. Do I still sound bitter? Let’s not dwell on this, it isn’t about me, it’s about you.
Through this heart-wrenching experience of mine, I gathered some wisdom on how to forget someone you love. So, pay attention, because though it will take some time, you’ll get through this phase with your head high.
How to forget someone and move on for good
Here are some helpful tips to cleanse your mind and forget someone.
Accept what happened.
Don’t be one of those people that cannot accept the fact that what you wanted didn’t work out. What I’m trying to say is, don’t be like me. You’ll be able to get over someone much easier if you just accept what happened.
It’s true, things could change but in the meantime accept the facts of the situation, that way you won’t be hopeful for some classic chick flick outcome where the person who broke your heart shows up at your door with a wedding ring and begs for you to get back together. It’s not going to happen.
Let it go.
You should listen to the Disney song, Let It Go. These Disney songs are getting real. Let it go. It’s the only way that you’ll be able to free your mind and heart. If you accept what happened, then the next step is to understand that, and then make a promise to yourself that you must move forward.
Don’t do what I did and eat ice cream on my couch – I actually enjoyed it, however, after cleaning out two tubs, it was time to reevaluate my life. Get your shoes on, and go for a walk. Go to the market. Go to the cafe. See your friends. Yes, your heart is broken but you’re still breathing – don’t allow someone to take your time away from you.
Don’t dwell on the past.
Don’t you even dare, “what if…” me. No. Stop it. Don’t look back. If you did this or you did that, it wouldn’t have changed anything. Thinking, “what if I tried harder?” will do nothing but aggravate your mind. Sure, you could have done this or that, you could have done hundreds of different things, but you didn’t.
And in all honesty, even if you did, would that have changed anything? You’ll never know. So, let that go. It happened. It’s over. Now, move forward.
Work on yourself.
If you’re feeling down and out, there’s no point sulking. To forget someone, the best thing is to focus on yourself. This is a great chance to look within and develop yourself. Join a pottery class, take up a sport – do something that makes you feel good about yourself.
It’s really easy to sit on the couch – trust me, I pulled a Brian Wilson, it was great until your muscles start to melt. If you’re not motivated to work on yourself, let’s think of it in a different way. What if you run into that person in a couple of months. The best revenge is looking better now than when you were with them.
Avoid things that remind you of that person.
Just stay away from them. I know, you want to stalk them and see if they’re suffering just like you, but it’s not a good idea. You need to cleanse yourself of this person – body, mind, and soul.
If you guys have the same friends, perhaps taking some time away from them as well will help you get over them. Basically, anything that reminds you of them, you need to avoid. This will take strength, but you can do it. At least until your eyes don’t look so red and puffy.
Change your lifestyle.
If your life has been evolving around this person, the best way to get over them is to change your lifestyle. This can be done by working on yourself, however, you can also try for a new job or change cities. Making these type of changes will focus your attention on something else. This won’t guarantee that you will completely forget about him or her, but it will help you and force you to do new things without that person.
Meet new people.
You’ll have to do this. Having the same friends as the person you’re trying to forget is brutal. When I tried to move on, our friends would keep bringing his name up in conversation or asking me how I’m doing. Though your friends are trying to be supportive, you don’t need the constant reminder. Having friends who doesn’t know the person can be a blessing since they won’t bombard you with questions or nervously tell you that that person is now dating someone new. Dick.
Don’t talk to the person.
Don’t do it, pleeease don’t do it – as Drake said. This ain’t nothing but trouble. Don’t text them, don’t call them, don’t snapchat them, don’t Instagram “heart” them, don’t facebook message them, don’t Whatsapp them, don’t pigeon mail them. Literally do not contact them. How can you forget someone if you keep on talking to them? Exactly!
Don’t try to remove this person from your mind.
If you’re trying to stop thinking about this person, it won’t work. It’ll actually make you think about them so much more. So, don’t sit on the couch thinking to yourself, “I need to get over him/her”. You’ll just get yourself thinking about how you don’t want to get over them. The mind is a crazy thing, eh?
Block and delete them.
Delete them from everything – facebook, instagram, snapchat. You will cyberstalk the hell out of them – trust me. The only way to avoid this is to completely remove them from your life. It’ll be hard to do it, but after a month or two, you’ll stop going to their facebook page – you probably don’t believe me yet, but you will.
Write your feelings down.
You need to express your feelings – this is the only way to process what happened and to help gain clarity and internal peace. I wrote four screenplays. Yes. Four. I know. Excessive. But I had a lot of emotions to process and most likely, you do too.
So, grab a journal, a pen and start writing. Even if your first sentence is, “I don’t know what to write”, write that down. Sooner or later, you’ll start gaining momentum and those feelings will start pouring out on the page.
Get yourself orientated with goals. Start with small goals. For example, I made a goal that I would go for a thirty-minute walk every day. Your goal doesn’t have to be grand or super significant. It can be simple, just as long as it helps you get through this phase. Remember, this is a phase. You will get through this. So, set up some goals. Every day you will write in your journal for ten minutes or listen to music before you go to bed.
Get out and see the world. There’s no point moping around your house, waiting for them to change. Get a train ticket, plane ticket or bus ticket – it doesn’t matter how you travel just as long as you take the time to see the world you live in. Trust me, once you see what the world holds, you’ll be wondering why you’re wasting your time on that person.
Give it time.
Yeah, I know it’s cliche but time really does heal all things. It may take days, months, or years, but life goes on and eventually that person will slowly and unconsciously leave your mind. When I see the guy who broke my heart, I actually look at him now only wanting to shave his disgusting beard. See, time really is the best remedy to forget someone.
It’s never easy to forget someone you once cared for deeply, especially when they gave you so much to remember. But with some effort and these rules, one day not far from today, you’ll look back and see just how easy it really was.