How many times have you heard that all is fair in love and war? However, some battles are better left to karma. You might be bent on taking revenge. But that’s a bad idea.
When someone does you wrong, you must remember that it’s not your place to get even with them after the breakup. In most cases, you should look at it as you’ve dodged a bullet because someone who would do you dirty is no one you want to be with for life.
Perhaps you were cheated on by your ex, or they may have become verbally and physically abusive. You may also be facing a case where they stole money and ruined your credit. Whatever wrong has been done to you, you must find a way to move on without getting revenge.
12 Reasons Why Revenge on Your Ex is a Bad Idea
Before you start down the road of getting revenge on someone who has done you wrong, you need to think long and hard about your choices. Although revenge on your ex sounds like music to your ears at the time, it is not a good idea for these twelve reasons.
1. You give your ex the perfect layout excuse.
As soon as a couple breaks up, you automatically get the question who caused the break. Even if the fault lies only partly with you, by behaving like a crazy train you only give it the perfect excuse for free and for nothing.
Just be honest, who doesn’t understand someone who breaks up with a half-cooked woman? You definitely don’t want to give him that extra bit of understanding. So keep your calm and think three times before you say or do something.
2. It takes your energy.
Seeking revenge on someone takes plenty of energy, and this is the energy you can use towards positive things. When you focus on negativity and the harmful factors in your life, it inhibits you from pushing through to the good stuff.
Sure, it hurts to be dumped or done wrong, but you can rise above this with optimism. Always use your powers for good and not evil, and watch how much better you feel about yourself.
3. Think of your image.
The way you deal with a broken relationship really says something about your abilities in times of crisis. Friends and family may not call you crazy or disturbed after a small revenge action, but they will certainly not use the word ‘maturity’.
4. You cannot turn back the clock.
It is not because you are cooking with anger that you will do this in a few months or years. So please think three times before you take action. Or do you really want to be chased for the rest of your life with a newspaper report ‘Woman glues penis from an ex-boyfriend to toilet bowl in revenge’. We didn’t think so.
By the way, it is not because this man did not succeed in meeting your prince on the white horse in the future. At that moment you really want to run the risk that he will be confronted with your past of crazy ex.
5. It’s not good for your health.
Sure, you think it will make you feel better to go after your ex, but the truth is that all the stress you feel will affect your health. You’ve probably heard that stress kills, but do you know how?
When your body is under pressure, it releases hormones that put you into “fight or flight” mode. If you stay in this mode too long, then it can lead to heart attacks and strokes. So, don’t sweat this stuff and let the universe take care of things.
6. It bombards you into ‘non-datable’ matter.
A woman who has feelings of revenge towards her ex-boyfriend is still too hard on him in his head and every potential new man realizes that too. Do you want to give an ultimate sneer to your ex? Then make sure you completely forget about him, so that other men get an interest in you again.
A matter of allowing something, it is justified to ‘accidentally’ walk past his house a few times a week with your new friend, naturally in an intimate embrace.
7. It’s linked to denial.
Did you know that it’s much easier to forgive others than it’s to forgive yourself? There is no perfect relationship. Even if you were done wrong, you must admit that there were things that you didn’t always do right. No one is perfect, and you must take responsibility for your actions.
It’s so much easier to be mad at someone else than it’s to face your shortcomings. Additionally, you may be in denial about the situation. If you still love the person, part of you may think that this may get their attention.
It’s a distorted perception because after busting out headlights or flattening their tires, it’s not going to make them come running back. It may solidify why they left in the first place.
8. You can hurt others.
Every act has consequences, especially if they are inspired by your feelings of revenge. Whoever acts from this, moreover, usually does not realize that other people are often unconsciously involved in your story.
It may seem funny to you to hang his dirty laundry outside, your smile will soon vanish from your face when you find out afterward that his kids, colleagues and family members have also read your name. Always keep this in mind, you will still be grateful to yourself.
9. Do not lose sight of yourself.
It makes sense that your world is turned upside down for a while after the man of your dreams puts you at the door. You have the fullest right to be angry, but don’t stretch this too long.
If you put all your energy in negative feelings and hatred instead of in the recovery phase, there is a good chance that you will change into a person who you actually no longer like, and who can benefit from that?
10. It’s an act of self-destruction.
You can get even with someone in many ways, but this act might get you in trouble. Assume you did flatten their tires to show them how much you’re hurting. Now, what if someone captured this act on a security camera, and it was turned over to the police; getting even just got you in trouble.
It’s illegal to destroy someone else’s property, and you could also get yourself in trouble for spreading vicious lies. It’s just not worth the fines, court costs, and repair bills. Think wisely, as getting even may cost you significantly.
11. It doesn’t change anything.
You plot, and you scheme, and you do everything in your power to get even with this individual. However, what does it do for you? Sure, you might have a slight feeling of euphoria at the thought that you made them suffer as you did. Consequently, it’s not going to change a thing.
You won’t erase the wrong that’s been done to you, and you won’t make them feel bad for the way they acted. All you’re doing is being destructive for self-gratification, which is always short-lived.
12. It’s a bitter act.
You want to be blessed and have a good life. You want a lovely family, a promising career, and plenty of money. How can you ask the Universe to give you all these good things if you have bitterness and hate in your heart?
When these feelings live inside your soul, it causes biological dysregulation. This abnormality can cause mental or physical illness. The immune system is weakened, and your entire body feels the strain of bitterness. One of the conditions that it can cause is malignancy, though there are many others.
Six Better Ways to Heal Your Heart
You’ve experienced a breakup, and your heart is broken into a million pieces. While getting revenge isn’t the best way to handle things, what can you do to resolve the pain you feel in your heart?
1. Give yourself time.
You didn’t fall in love overnight, nor are you going to fall out of love so quickly. Time is the best remedy for pain, as it lessens with each day that passes by. Don’t expect that you will be over a five-year relationship in a week.
2. Surround yourself with support.
When you isolate yourself from everyone, it makes the pain more intense. Other people help you cope with the heartache you feel.
Call your friends and family members and get out of the house. Nothing good happens staying cooped up behind four walls.
3. Get counseling.
You’ve probably asked yourself 100 questions about your relationship. It’s best to get a professional, mutual person to talk with you. They can help you identify how to do better in the next relationship and pinpoint what you had no control over.
If you’re playing the blame game with yourself, counseling is an excellent place to start the healing process.
4. Get back out there.
The best way to get over one person is to move on with another one. While you may not be interested in marriage and a family, no law says you can’t have fun. The dating pool is full of many ready, willing, and able to love you the way you deserve.
It would help if you had someone make you feel beautiful or handsome and show you that you have worth. Who knows, the next person you meet might be the one that sweeps you off your feet.
5. Let karma do her thing.
The wonderful thing about doing nothing is that you allow karma to step in and take care of it for you. Remember the “Golden Rule” that you should always do unto others how you want to be treated; well, the Universe seems to enforce it. Karma can get involved in situations and turn their life upside down, and you don’t have to lift a finger.
6. Turn to your faith.
Most people have a spiritual sense. It’s best to turn to your faith to help you get through the darkest days of your life. Believing that someone bigger and more powerful can help is just the thing you may need to get you through this tough time.
The Bottom Line
Anger and bitterness over a lost love will contaminate your life, while the person who hurt you will sail into the sunset without care. Forgiveness will free you of the ties that bind, and forgiving them is not about them at all; it’s all about you. This doesn’t mean you have to let them back into your life, but you’re doing this to make you a better person.
Count this betrayal as a lesson learned, and you should strive to do better in your next relationship. Learn to identify red flags of problems and get out before things accelerate to the boiling point. In most cases, you might not have seen the breakup or hurtful situation coming. Some lessons life teaches are hard.
Sure, you want to get revenge because you feel it will make you feel better. Sadly, it’s a bandage that will soon fall off, and the gaping wound in your heart will still exist. Cry if you need to, talk to a friend to fill the void, but don’t get revenge. It’s just not worth it.