3. It undermines communication.
If your partner discovers that you often spy through his phone, he might start hiding things from you. Those partners that cheat would erase all traces of their infidelity so that when you search you would find nothing.
Meanwhile, they might choose not to communicate with you cordially because they aren’t happy about your invasion into their privacy.
If you are suspicious, figure out if you have a concrete reason to be suspicious, and then present your partner with what you know, and ask calmly for an explanation. If you don’t believe the explanation, you need to talk about that.
4. You create arguments and quarrels.
Spying through a spouse’s device has been one of the major reasons for quarrels in the home.
A typical scenario would be: the lady gets furious because she found some clues of infidelity on his phone while the man gets furious because she touched his devices. They both scream their lungs out while the kids stay there and watch.
Sometimes, the argument could progress into a fight and at the end of the day, the wife realizes that the whole drama would have been avoided if she had respected her husband’s privacy.
5. It puts you in a weaker position.
When one person snoops on another, it creates an unhealthy power dynamic. When you’re in a position where you feel empowered, you simply don’t sneak around and spy on others. You live your life without worrying about what other people are doing.
But if you become fixated on what your partner is doing rather than what you yourself are doing, you are effectively disavowing your own power and giving it away. This is not a healthy long-term dynamic.
6. It sabotages closeness.
Many relationships never bounce back after one partner confesses to snooping on the other. Even if it turns out that your partner was in fact flirting with someone else, your sneaky behavior often cancels out their flirtation and you lose the moral high ground in your argument.
It is very hard for anyone to trust someone who they now realize was going through their private messages, looking for evidence of their misbehavior. This lack of trust may be just as hard to forgive, in many ways, as an uncovered flirtation.