You may not even realize that you’re doing it.
Spying is usually portrayed in books and movies as either James Bond-like heroics or crazy and paranoid behavior. You probably don’t see yourself as either of these extremes, but it’s possible that you are spying on your spouse… and damaging your fragile relationship in the process.
Secret phone calls, hastily whispered conversations, quick closing of laptops and unexplained expenses can all lead you to want to know a little more about your partner’s extracurricular behavior. In our age of technology, spying has never been easier.
Spying behaviors include:
- checking your partner’s phone
- logging onto one’s email account
- stalking his/her social media pages
- literally following your partner
- installation of hidden cameras, wiretaps, trackers
It even sort of makes sense. This subtle — or not so subtle — checking up you do is actually a good way to avoid interrogating or pumping your partner for information on a daily basis. You can just do ‘a little research’ and come away knowing that you are being told the truth.
Spouses may spy to see if their partners are cheating, spending time with undesirable friends, drinking, gambling or otherwise behaving badly. They may want to know whether their spouses are really going to work, whether they’re spending too much money or if they truly are where they say they are.
But spying on your spouse has a downside…